it's really hard to find someone who understands where i'm coming from. everyone is too busy.. either that or i don't want to go to them. i've been feeling really shitty lately.. but i haven't posted about it. I'm not really sad. I'm just not in a good mood a lot of the time. people can get under my skin fucking easily. and fucking damn allergies. i mean come on now! you don't try to fuck with someone sneezing like a bitch and like eyes all watery. i think these couple of days are closing me up.. more and more.. so this whole year of opening up is just wasted. i know this, but nothing is keeping my from stoping it. I guess that means I don't want to open up anymore.. because when I do.. I'm just left hanging there. and that's a terrible feeling. nothing really cheers me up anymore. coffee.. no.. nothing. well maybe sleep. sleep is nice. ah whatever i dont feel like posting anymore. i'll probably post more tonight.

and please don't comment on what i'm feeling.. you guys do that and i just think its too late sometimes