i am going fucking crazy. i dont want to get up later today... i dont want to fucking do anything.. but i know i have to. shit i should just not go to dinner dance.. and i dont have to go shopping 2m. damn i want to smack you. just because i want to. for every single annoying thing you did. i want to smack you. and for every annoying thing i do you can fucking smack me too. ARGHHHHHH STUPID STUPID STHPAS;LDFKA;S LASKJFD;LAKSFJD DAMN AS;D KAJSDF;LKJ FUCKING RIGHT NO ONE UNDER STANDS ME. ITS LIKE IM TYPING SO THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE WILL EMAIL ME AND TELL ME I'M NOT CRAZY AND TELL ME THEY UNDERSTAND ME. AND MAYBE SOMEDAY THAT ONE FUCKING PERSON FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU. AND YOU DONT HAVE TO FEEL CRUSHED EVERY FUCKING DAY. AND MAYBE SOMEDAY I CAN STOP PRETENDING TO BE COOL WITH YOUR ACTIONS. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I WANTED TO SAY YOU'RE A FUCKING HYPOCRIT.. 100 TIMES WORSE THAN ME. YOU ARE JUST TRIPPEN IF YOU THINK WHATEVER YOU DO IS FINE. STOP WHINING. STOP DOING SHIT. STOP WITH THE GUY DRAMA. FUCK THAT CRAP. LOVE. WTF IS LOVE. ITS LIKE IM STARTING TO THINK IT'S NOT GONNA BE EVER LASTING. SOMEONE JUST COME HERE AND GIVE ME A DAMN HUG... THATS all i really want right now.. a damn little hug from gary. such a little thing that can never blah im not crying im not anything. not really that angry. im just sitting here.. typing.. mezmorized by the screen maybe. just siting here tired. unable to sleep. and a bit of anxiety in me. so tell me.. whats wrong with me. so i can change. change into someone with less problems. someone who is at peace with themself. someone.. anyone but me right now.