Do you think individual events can shape the entire outcome of a friendship? Or do you think that it's the way an individual event, coupled with all the other events from the past define a friendship? Occasionally when I'm angry or what not, I convince myself that a single event can ruin how I see a friend. It varies between person to person, but there must be instances where my belief holds truth. I've most definitely reached a point in my life where relationships are at a standstill. No one tries to build relationships with me, and I don't reciprocate that lack of effort. So where does that leave me?

It drives me crazy how most of the new friends I've made (people I didn't know from middle school) are essentially just superficial friendships. The friendship hardly extends past school doors--that's how questionable that friendship is. I thought high school was about trying to define yourself. How can you do that without figuring out who your friends are?

No matter what people say, you can't figure yourself out without figuring out you support system. You have to judge yourself as you compare yourself to others. In terms of comparing achievements, it's probably not a good way to build self-esteem, but it's realistic.

Even for some of my friends outside of school, the friendships have become superficial. That's mostly because I don't make time to hang out with them as much anymore, but shit, we'll be less and less compatible as I change throughout the year.

Throughout the nearly five years that I've had this blog, I think I've transformed from a teeny bopper to an angst ridden teenager, to a middle stage where I'm less about questioning the world and why it hates me to much, and more about questions about life that I ask myself.

I'm really tired of school right now. I'm behind in most of my classes, and I'm literally tired. I really DON'T want to go to school today, but I have to. I don't want to do anything, but I have to. argh.