every single "holiday" ends like shit for me. ALWAYS.. damn it.. my mom yelled at me.. she called me selfish.. man.. WTF did i do?! is it my fault that i have to fuckin share a god damn room wit my grandma? i know it's not that hard, but i have to go to sleep at 12.. that is fucking not possible for someone my age.. man i'll just fucking not sleep.. see how they react to that. well, since i aint gonna do that to my parents.. how do i make them understand how i feel? i fucking tried to talk to my mom once but she didn't get it. i don't get why i never get any attention from my parents. it's like i have to be bad to get attention... what do they want me to do? go suicidal? maybe i would get some god damn attention then. my parents let me do everything myself.. i handle school myself.. i maintain my grades.. for who? for them.. nothing i do is for myself anymore.. i used to think that i did everything because i wanted to have a good future, but i came to realize that my parents push me with out doing anything.. thats the way they brought me up.. i know what they expect of me so they expect me to be "perfect". i just wish that my parents would see how i am feeling.. and i wish they would just care.. most people want their parents out of their lives, but because my parents don't give a shit about me, i want them to care. Just to clarify that "don't give a shit about me" means they aren't involved in my life... they don't know what goes on in my life..