Leslie...
The only time I can tell you anythin is online, and I don't want to tell this thing online. I hate tellin it onlne because I don't know how they are reacting to this situation. I honestly don't think you'll get how the "challenge" affected me. I can't let go.. I probably won't let go.. I'll hold a grudge forever.. And your right.. it's not over yet.. and It won't be because even if we tried, nothing will get settled. I distanced myself because I need my alone time right now. If I am in need of someones presence I will ask for it. Eliza understands.. Right now.. just don't ask me what's wrong with me. If I want to tell you.. I will. If I don't then I just need time. YOu know what. I want a hug from Gary.. Never got a hug from him before.. Even though he promised me one.. Or a hug from john because it's like a bear hug... lifts me up and everythin.. and squeezes... heh