I don't even want to bother to hold back no more. I'm a fuckin jealous ass bitch. I don't care... I get to be selfish right now... I always have to be considerate of people's feelings...

Yesterday was a great ass day. Chilled with Tracy. and that's ALWAYS nice. got home, talked to gary about mousetrap car. it was something he liked to talk about so i was down with it.. And i got some good tips =) But the thing is.. i always set myself up like that. I always set myself to get ready to be sad. i dont get why i do it. today. i just feel like i'm.. iono wtf that feeling is. but i hate it. this feeling causes me to want to mope around all day. I hate being stuck here.. i want to get out.. go to the beach and sit there listening to the water... looking at the stars... thinking. crying because i want to get it out.. and i'm hoping it will help. Come on now world.. one funn filled month and i go back to where i started from... I have so much to say but i cant say it..