just for laughs-
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: anna
iamubersek sy: evie
iamubersek sy: wasup
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: omgosh
iamubersek sy: what??
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: someone referred me to some modeling pageant shizz
iamubersek sy: hahaha
iamubersek sy: hhahaahahhahahaha
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: that's so retarded
iamubersek sy: hahahaha
iamubersek sy: good shi
iamubersek sy: hahahahah
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: lol
har har good shiet. Yesterday, I went dt and got some pants from ross. w00t =]
Today, I went to Chinese school. I found out that Ann is going to Hawaii for a week so she won't be in Chinese school next week. BLARH! And Kim is going to China for two weeks!! So I have no one left! blarh again. I have no hope that my other friend Jenny is gonna come back from China anytime soon so blarh blarh! I'm gonna be all alone in chinese school next week.
Well throughout summer.. my emotions haven't really been acting up at all. My anger is to a minimum level. My happiness is pretty damn content, but I wouldn't say it's quite booming. I guess it's not a shabby life. I am choosing to have a stress free holiday. Wonder how that's possible?! The answer is having minimal contact with most of the people you know. =] During the summer I see Connie and Eliza the most. That suits me pretty well since I don't get tired of them too easily. Yet just in the past few days... All of the contentment is fading.. It's another one of those summers where I have so many doubts about the upcoming year. I know my 9th grade year won't be the best since I don't want to go back to school. It's a clear cut sign when you need more time to yourself. My predictions for the upcoming year.. Alot of anxiety in the beginning of the school year. Alot of insecurities. And most definitely STRESS. Damn Lowell. I've never been so scared of going to school. blarh. Just imagine going into a class one day and being the stupidest one there! I can just see it. I'm gonna flunk out of Geo and go back into algebra which will be too easy for me and I won't get into Chem in Soph year. And I won't get into Calc in junior OR senior year. BLARHH I'm just too insecure I guess..
Last night I talked to my mom about well.. my feelings towards things such as religion and death. The death thing was brought up when I was talking about my future and how I don't want to have some high paying job that I'm not happy with. She says happiness isn't crucial. And that I have to think about other people and my finacial status at the time. It's as if she's telling me I have to make a lot of money. I can't not be happy with my job. I just have to do it because I do. I argued that.. Well if I'm not working and living for my own happiness there is no other reason to live since I don't have anyone depending on me. So come on.. you guys have to see that perspective. You don't wanna do something you hate yet you continue at it. WHY?! You don't have to support anyone so you're just living to not die. blarhhh Also, I don't think I'm gonna be interested in something that pays alot anyway.. and I think that disappoints my mom a little. And to add on to all my insecurities my grandma is sick. We think it's like a semi stroke.. We is me and Xuong. My mom doesn't think so though.. she says that shes always been kinda like that. AHHHHHHHH damn it. I hate that so fucking much. I'm dead worried about my grandma. If I wake up to help her with something.. I can't get back to sleep. Same thing happened yesterday. I woke up at 7 because she was feeling dizzy and numb on one side again. And no matter now much everyone told me to sleep I couldn't. I just wanted to keep busy. And to think.. what if she doesn't get totally better? I'm gonna be busy during highschool.. iono who can take care of her when my parents are working. I hate leaving her alone now.. Well I basically refuse to. It looks like I'm gonna be staying home for most of the rest of summer now..
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: anna
iamubersek sy: evie
iamubersek sy: wasup
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: omgosh
iamubersek sy: what??
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: someone referred me to some modeling pageant shizz
iamubersek sy: hahaha
iamubersek sy: hhahaahahhahahaha
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: that's so retarded
iamubersek sy: hahahaha
iamubersek sy: good shi
iamubersek sy: hahahahah
s K 1 L 7 a G 3: lol
har har good shiet. Yesterday, I went dt and got some pants from ross. w00t =]
Today, I went to Chinese school. I found out that Ann is going to Hawaii for a week so she won't be in Chinese school next week. BLARH! And Kim is going to China for two weeks!! So I have no one left! blarh again. I have no hope that my other friend Jenny is gonna come back from China anytime soon so blarh blarh! I'm gonna be all alone in chinese school next week.
Well throughout summer.. my emotions haven't really been acting up at all. My anger is to a minimum level. My happiness is pretty damn content, but I wouldn't say it's quite booming. I guess it's not a shabby life. I am choosing to have a stress free holiday. Wonder how that's possible?! The answer is having minimal contact with most of the people you know. =] During the summer I see Connie and Eliza the most. That suits me pretty well since I don't get tired of them too easily. Yet just in the past few days... All of the contentment is fading.. It's another one of those summers where I have so many doubts about the upcoming year. I know my 9th grade year won't be the best since I don't want to go back to school. It's a clear cut sign when you need more time to yourself. My predictions for the upcoming year.. Alot of anxiety in the beginning of the school year. Alot of insecurities. And most definitely STRESS. Damn Lowell. I've never been so scared of going to school. blarh. Just imagine going into a class one day and being the stupidest one there! I can just see it. I'm gonna flunk out of Geo and go back into algebra which will be too easy for me and I won't get into Chem in Soph year. And I won't get into Calc in junior OR senior year. BLARHH I'm just too insecure I guess..
Last night I talked to my mom about well.. my feelings towards things such as religion and death. The death thing was brought up when I was talking about my future and how I don't want to have some high paying job that I'm not happy with. She says happiness isn't crucial. And that I have to think about other people and my finacial status at the time. It's as if she's telling me I have to make a lot of money. I can't not be happy with my job. I just have to do it because I do. I argued that.. Well if I'm not working and living for my own happiness there is no other reason to live since I don't have anyone depending on me. So come on.. you guys have to see that perspective. You don't wanna do something you hate yet you continue at it. WHY?! You don't have to support anyone so you're just living to not die. blarhhh Also, I don't think I'm gonna be interested in something that pays alot anyway.. and I think that disappoints my mom a little. And to add on to all my insecurities my grandma is sick. We think it's like a semi stroke.. We is me and Xuong. My mom doesn't think so though.. she says that shes always been kinda like that. AHHHHHHHH damn it. I hate that so fucking much. I'm dead worried about my grandma. If I wake up to help her with something.. I can't get back to sleep. Same thing happened yesterday. I woke up at 7 because she was feeling dizzy and numb on one side again. And no matter now much everyone told me to sleep I couldn't. I just wanted to keep busy. And to think.. what if she doesn't get totally better? I'm gonna be busy during highschool.. iono who can take care of her when my parents are working. I hate leaving her alone now.. Well I basically refuse to. It looks like I'm gonna be staying home for most of the rest of summer now..
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