TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY!! Chinese school was alotta laughs as usual. Um.. Got home and I talked to Bonnie for over an hr on the phone! w00t!! AND I talked to Luba alot online. I'm so happy because I got to talk to two people I love so damn much. w00t =]
( edit / mood swing )
ARGH. THiS SHiT BETTER FUCKiNG BE PMS BECAUSE i WiILL NOT TOLERATE BEiNG THiS MiSERABLE DURiNG SCHOOL. i WiLL NOT FUCKING ALLOW MYSELF TO FEEL MiSERABLE EVEN iF iT DOES MEAN THAT i HAVE TO BE FAKE TO MYSELF.
As if it's not enough that I never truely wanted to go Lowell that badly, I am having the worse time. People are fucks. Classes are the fux0rs. And it drains the shit outta you. I come home each and everyday all tired and half falling alseep while on the bus. I get home take a nap then wake up and eat dinner. I eat while I do hw and yeah. I get tired of hw and then I just sit there or go chat with people. Then somehow.. I have no clue how, but I start to think about him. His fake motherfucking ass. Like I need to think about him when I'm already so fucking UGH. I see my classmates more than my family. That's just fucking wrong. And I fucking miss Connie. All of the things that are consequences of going to Lowell seem to be biting me in the ass right now. But it's not even the exhaustion or the work or the whatever. It's the fact that I have to think about him. I don't even want to. I haven't for about a month. I did fucking well. Ask anyone if I talked about him outta no where. NEVER. And I don't know what it is. I damn sure as hell don't like him anymore. But why am I still so fucking upset? I have a few vague ideas. 1. Maybe I want that nice feeling of liking someone again and not caring who knows. You all know that feeling right? The one where you have him on your mind before bed, or just whenever you have free time? I don't know. 2. I hate him so much that every time I think of him or what he does/did, I want to sock him?. 3. Or I don't even hate him. Maybe I can't find any other reason for my unhappiness. Well whatever it is. It better fucking go away. And everything else I'm feeling.. ugh. STOP IT ANNA. -_____-
( edit / mood swing )
ARGH. THiS SHiT BETTER FUCKiNG BE PMS BECAUSE i WiILL NOT TOLERATE BEiNG THiS MiSERABLE DURiNG SCHOOL. i WiLL NOT FUCKING ALLOW MYSELF TO FEEL MiSERABLE EVEN iF iT DOES MEAN THAT i HAVE TO BE FAKE TO MYSELF.
As if it's not enough that I never truely wanted to go Lowell that badly, I am having the worse time. People are fucks. Classes are the fux0rs. And it drains the shit outta you. I come home each and everyday all tired and half falling alseep while on the bus. I get home take a nap then wake up and eat dinner. I eat while I do hw and yeah. I get tired of hw and then I just sit there or go chat with people. Then somehow.. I have no clue how, but I start to think about him. His fake motherfucking ass. Like I need to think about him when I'm already so fucking UGH. I see my classmates more than my family. That's just fucking wrong. And I fucking miss Connie. All of the things that are consequences of going to Lowell seem to be biting me in the ass right now. But it's not even the exhaustion or the work or the whatever. It's the fact that I have to think about him. I don't even want to. I haven't for about a month. I did fucking well. Ask anyone if I talked about him outta no where. NEVER. And I don't know what it is. I damn sure as hell don't like him anymore. But why am I still so fucking upset? I have a few vague ideas. 1. Maybe I want that nice feeling of liking someone again and not caring who knows. You all know that feeling right? The one where you have him on your mind before bed, or just whenever you have free time? I don't know. 2. I hate him so much that every time I think of him or what he does/did, I want to sock him?. 3. Or I don't even hate him. Maybe I can't find any other reason for my unhappiness. Well whatever it is. It better fucking go away. And everything else I'm feeling.. ugh. STOP IT ANNA. -_____-
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