My friend Nat unintentionally gave me the will to blog, and I thank him for that. We never really talk that much, but everytime we do, it's always late at night and always a great conversation. We just talk about random things and the boyfriend girlfriend subject always comes up, and it turns out that I haven't thought about it in a while. So now I've realized that all I want is to meet a guy.
It's really weird because I've never really been boy crazy or anything, but I finally realized that life would be better if I had someone to think about, or meet someone where the feelings are mutual. All I ask is to find a guy that doesn't care about what other people think, and just someone who is real and has things that he likes and dislikes. All we would do is talk and wander around taking pictures. All my troubles would finally be carried away because I'm with someone that doesn't remind me of school. And I guess there is one requirement.. which is quite simple. I just don't want him to go to the same school as me. A secret life I guess.. No one knows who he really is and he's just all mine. Someone I can confide in about every little thing in my life. It's odd since it's not like I like a particular person and I'm heartbroken because he doesn't like me back, but it's more like I want a companion. This person doesn't even have to stick around forever. I just need a temporary relief from my hectic life. But I guess all of this is too much to ask for.
edit like 10 minutes later
I just started to think about random things, and of course I thought about how I saw so many people at Denise's party today, which led me to think about how much I've changed. It's hard for me to notice how I've changed so I ask you guys to tell me. But the one part of me that's definitely changed is that I seem to want to volunteer a lot more... Currently, I'm growing my hair out so I can donate to locks of love, and I really want to go on the aids walk, will anyone join me? I'm not sure why, but I feel as if I need to help people, and although I'm not doing much now, I really hope I will in the near future. There is just a great feeling you get after you've helped make a difference in a person's life.. You really can't explain it because it's one of nature's highs.
Another random thought that I probably shouldn't publish in here... but I will anyway because I just don't give a fucK! Okay so I wonder why I never ever had a boyfriend. Like.. I don't know how to explain it.. here.. lets try it this way.. 1) There are probably two people I liked enough to want to go out with and well never happened right? 2) I would never go out with someone if I didn't like them. And I know that number 2 is correct.. and just a good thing. but with number 1.. All I think about is damn how can all those shallow ass bitches get with someone they like so easily? Is there something wrong with me? Well I don't really think that, but damn it's just not fair. In a way it's not like I want a boyfriend RIGHT NOW.. like any random person.. I just wish that I could have gone out with one of the two people that I truly liked. It doesn't even have to fucking last, I just want to know what could have happened.
After you people read this entry, I guess you're probably thinking "I can't believe she wrote this crap" or something of the sort.. but I just need to remember this.
edit like another 10 minutes later..
I just can't get to sleep.. and I just wish I had someone to talk to right now. It's kind of pathetic how I have no one to talk to so I'm just blogging. I guess my blog is my friend eh? Man seriously, why would I even think of the subject wayy above anyway. I feel really like dumb.. Just thinking about it
it's 4:20 right now.. I guess it's just one of those days where you can't sleep eh
clarification to all. No, I don't want a boyfriend right now! jeesus. But I feel like out of two people.. it would have been cool to go out with one of them. Yuck. But it really would be nice to meet a nice guy who doesn't piss me off.
It's really weird because I've never really been boy crazy or anything, but I finally realized that life would be better if I had someone to think about, or meet someone where the feelings are mutual. All I ask is to find a guy that doesn't care about what other people think, and just someone who is real and has things that he likes and dislikes. All we would do is talk and wander around taking pictures. All my troubles would finally be carried away because I'm with someone that doesn't remind me of school. And I guess there is one requirement.. which is quite simple. I just don't want him to go to the same school as me. A secret life I guess.. No one knows who he really is and he's just all mine. Someone I can confide in about every little thing in my life. It's odd since it's not like I like a particular person and I'm heartbroken because he doesn't like me back, but it's more like I want a companion. This person doesn't even have to stick around forever. I just need a temporary relief from my hectic life. But I guess all of this is too much to ask for.
edit like 10 minutes later
I just started to think about random things, and of course I thought about how I saw so many people at Denise's party today, which led me to think about how much I've changed. It's hard for me to notice how I've changed so I ask you guys to tell me. But the one part of me that's definitely changed is that I seem to want to volunteer a lot more... Currently, I'm growing my hair out so I can donate to locks of love, and I really want to go on the aids walk, will anyone join me? I'm not sure why, but I feel as if I need to help people, and although I'm not doing much now, I really hope I will in the near future. There is just a great feeling you get after you've helped make a difference in a person's life.. You really can't explain it because it's one of nature's highs.
Another random thought that I probably shouldn't publish in here... but I will anyway because I just don't give a fucK! Okay so I wonder why I never ever had a boyfriend. Like.. I don't know how to explain it.. here.. lets try it this way.. 1) There are probably two people I liked enough to want to go out with and well never happened right? 2) I would never go out with someone if I didn't like them. And I know that number 2 is correct.. and just a good thing. but with number 1.. All I think about is damn how can all those shallow ass bitches get with someone they like so easily? Is there something wrong with me? Well I don't really think that, but damn it's just not fair. In a way it's not like I want a boyfriend RIGHT NOW.. like any random person.. I just wish that I could have gone out with one of the two people that I truly liked. It doesn't even have to fucking last, I just want to know what could have happened.
After you people read this entry, I guess you're probably thinking "I can't believe she wrote this crap" or something of the sort.. but I just need to remember this.
edit like another 10 minutes later..
I just can't get to sleep.. and I just wish I had someone to talk to right now. It's kind of pathetic how I have no one to talk to so I'm just blogging. I guess my blog is my friend eh? Man seriously, why would I even think of the subject wayy above anyway. I feel really like dumb.. Just thinking about it
it's 4:20 right now.. I guess it's just one of those days where you can't sleep eh
clarification to all. No, I don't want a boyfriend right now! jeesus. But I feel like out of two people.. it would have been cool to go out with one of them. Yuck. But it really would be nice to meet a nice guy who doesn't piss me off.
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