Shitty ass week
I would first like to bitch about the fact that I was unable to visit Luba yesterday because her friends didn't want me to be with them or something? eh Whatever, it's in the past.
Next up in line is the fact that everyone judges everyone.. Okay fine I'm just talking about myself. Everytime I get insulted everyone always goes "oh she's going to kick your ass" or something similar/ along those lines. Before this week, it never bothered me, but I guess it's because I'm irritable lately.. or maybe I'm just tired of hearing it, I don't know.
And in addition to my anger or my upset feelings, I've just been really out of it. I'm never in the mood to do homework or do anything productive at all. I didn't really even want to go talk to people online. Most of the time I'd have those "leave me the fuck alone" feelings. Because I've been wanting alone time, I've taken refuge in my brother's house. I went there everyday this week except for today. Half of the reason is to concentrate on homework, and the other half is, of course, to be alone. I've had so much alone time this week, so you know what that means right? Alone time = Thinking time = Too much self analysis. The main thing I was comtemplating was the parallels between the beginning of 8th grade, my feelings then, to my feelings now. Turns out that it's quite similar. Same symptoms, same upset stomach feeling, same loss of appetite, and unhappiness. It's odd how I don't know how to deal with this even though I've experienced it before.
Whatever this feeling is, I honestly don't know... But the one thing I do know is that it probably won't ever completely go away. It can be suppressed for a while, but something will always trigger it to act up again. I'll never find out what triggers it, and I'll never find a solution to these problems. Knowing these things just sucks ass even more. I hate when I can't even attempt to help myself.
The only upside of my week was getting an A- on my geometry quiz. And today wasn't too shabby either because I had some awesome music to listen to. The Verve- Street Symphony, Nirvana- Nevermind, Pearl Jam- Ten. Those are gooood ass CDs. Then after school, Leslie and I went to grab a bite to eat, which was nice since he really helped cheer me up for a while. Momentary happiness is better than nothing I guess..
Oh and the worse part is.. I'M GETTING FUCKING SICK. MY THROAT HURTS LIKE HELL. ARRGGGGHHH.
Next up in line is the fact that everyone judges everyone.. Okay fine I'm just talking about myself. Everytime I get insulted everyone always goes "oh she's going to kick your ass" or something similar/ along those lines. Before this week, it never bothered me, but I guess it's because I'm irritable lately.. or maybe I'm just tired of hearing it, I don't know.
And in addition to my anger or my upset feelings, I've just been really out of it. I'm never in the mood to do homework or do anything productive at all. I didn't really even want to go talk to people online. Most of the time I'd have those "leave me the fuck alone" feelings. Because I've been wanting alone time, I've taken refuge in my brother's house. I went there everyday this week except for today. Half of the reason is to concentrate on homework, and the other half is, of course, to be alone. I've had so much alone time this week, so you know what that means right? Alone time = Thinking time = Too much self analysis. The main thing I was comtemplating was the parallels between the beginning of 8th grade, my feelings then, to my feelings now. Turns out that it's quite similar. Same symptoms, same upset stomach feeling, same loss of appetite, and unhappiness. It's odd how I don't know how to deal with this even though I've experienced it before.
Whatever this feeling is, I honestly don't know... But the one thing I do know is that it probably won't ever completely go away. It can be suppressed for a while, but something will always trigger it to act up again. I'll never find out what triggers it, and I'll never find a solution to these problems. Knowing these things just sucks ass even more. I hate when I can't even attempt to help myself.
The only upside of my week was getting an A- on my geometry quiz. And today wasn't too shabby either because I had some awesome music to listen to. The Verve- Street Symphony, Nirvana- Nevermind, Pearl Jam- Ten. Those are gooood ass CDs. Then after school, Leslie and I went to grab a bite to eat, which was nice since he really helped cheer me up for a while. Momentary happiness is better than nothing I guess..
Oh and the worse part is.. I'M GETTING FUCKING SICK. MY THROAT HURTS LIKE HELL. ARRGGGGHHH.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home