If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that things don't last forever. It's the sad truth of life, and I don't think I can accept that truth. If I deny that long enough, do you think I can convince myself that some things actually do? I'm so afraid of losing, in all perspectives. To me, failure and losing are practically synonomous. I'm also afraid of losing people, because, lets face reality, everyone gets sad when someone dies. Last on that list is my hate for losing materialistic items. It's not so much the value of the lost, but the inconvenience that it brings you.

My spring break started off wonderfully this year. It wasn't anything HUGE like a big party or a big trip anywhere, but I had days where I was genuinely happy about how things were going. I was reunited with my favorite people in the world, and during the times I was with them, nothing bad came to mind. I can honestly say that I haven't had many days like that this school year.

Then today came, and canceled out all the goodness that came from the previous days. I worked on a project during the day, and then basically crawled into a shell and watched movies by myself. I watched The Notebook, Chasing Liberty, Win a Date With Tad Hamilton, Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, and The Perfect Score. Five freaking movies in one day. Man did I feel pathetic eating my Whopper with cheese on the floor by myself in front of my brother's big sony tv. Eventually, I turned the floor into a bed because I'm too blind to see the tv from the couch.

Today was just a really crappy day. Not because anyone else made it that way, I brought it upon myself. I didn't do it on purpose though. These things seem to come naturally. I normally like to refer to this as my punishment for having so much fun. Man, even I'm tired of my pessimism.

One more day, and then I turn "sweet" sixteen. How come it doesn't seem so sweet right now? I just want to be alone man. This sucks. I better get out of this rut by 2m