After brooding for a long time, I actually just feel numb right now. I think that's the best way to describe how I'm feeling...
I was just brushing my teeth and I thought about how everyone has a different view of their years at Lowell. I remember I asked my brother about cutting class during one of my first weeks at Lowell. He told me you're better off just going to that class than to cut that class because of a missing assignment. I wonder what other students would have told me. I listened to him back then. I also asked him about cheating. He said if you can get away with it, do it, but you shouldn't need to do it. I've helped others cheat, but I've never seriously cheated for my own benefit.
I wonder how other people go through their four years at Lowell. The only commonality between all Lowell students is the struggle. There can't be a single Lowell student who hasn't pulled a near all-nighter by the time they graduate. It's wrong to say that it shows true dedication because it actually showcases procrastination, but if you haven't sacrificed sleep for a grade, you're not a Lowell student.
In one year and four months, I wonder how I will feel about finally leaving Lowell. I wonder if rosy retrospection will actually work its magic and if I'll think back fondly over my four years in highschool. I probably will. But honestly, at this very moment, I can't remember too many of the good times in the last two years. Good memories tended to be overshadowed by all that crap that I had to go through that year.
I guess it's not so much that I have outward struggles with people or "things." A year sucks because I let it go to waste. The worse struggles are the ones with yourself, and I haven't figured out how to beat myself yet. Junior year is, was, and will be hell, but maybe it will turn out to be the best year. Its a weird feeling to sit at school and feel so secure yet so alone at the same time. But I think it's safe to say that I like my teachers at Lowell more than I like the people there. Aside from my handful of friends there, there's not much going on socially for me. It bothers me when I don't have homework to do, but if I'm going through a normal day, it's all good. I like not having those entanglements. Less drama. But the part that sucks is that I don't have that much time to hang out with my friends outside from school. My good friends that bring me coffee because they know how freaking hardcore I need to be this year. It's ironic that I spend less time with them than people I feel like I hardly know but see every day.
K not making sense. That's a sign to sleep.
I hope Schwarz's class is better tomorrow.
I was just brushing my teeth and I thought about how everyone has a different view of their years at Lowell. I remember I asked my brother about cutting class during one of my first weeks at Lowell. He told me you're better off just going to that class than to cut that class because of a missing assignment. I wonder what other students would have told me. I listened to him back then. I also asked him about cheating. He said if you can get away with it, do it, but you shouldn't need to do it. I've helped others cheat, but I've never seriously cheated for my own benefit.
I wonder how other people go through their four years at Lowell. The only commonality between all Lowell students is the struggle. There can't be a single Lowell student who hasn't pulled a near all-nighter by the time they graduate. It's wrong to say that it shows true dedication because it actually showcases procrastination, but if you haven't sacrificed sleep for a grade, you're not a Lowell student.
In one year and four months, I wonder how I will feel about finally leaving Lowell. I wonder if rosy retrospection will actually work its magic and if I'll think back fondly over my four years in highschool. I probably will. But honestly, at this very moment, I can't remember too many of the good times in the last two years. Good memories tended to be overshadowed by all that crap that I had to go through that year.
I guess it's not so much that I have outward struggles with people or "things." A year sucks because I let it go to waste. The worse struggles are the ones with yourself, and I haven't figured out how to beat myself yet. Junior year is, was, and will be hell, but maybe it will turn out to be the best year. Its a weird feeling to sit at school and feel so secure yet so alone at the same time. But I think it's safe to say that I like my teachers at Lowell more than I like the people there. Aside from my handful of friends there, there's not much going on socially for me. It bothers me when I don't have homework to do, but if I'm going through a normal day, it's all good. I like not having those entanglements. Less drama. But the part that sucks is that I don't have that much time to hang out with my friends outside from school. My good friends that bring me coffee because they know how freaking hardcore I need to be this year. It's ironic that I spend less time with them than people I feel like I hardly know but see every day.
K not making sense. That's a sign to sleep.
I hope Schwarz's class is better tomorrow.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home