I was sitting on my bed thinking about all the people I know that have 4.0 cumulative GPAs and I thought to myself, how do they do it? Not how did they get the 4.0s. I'm more wondering where they get the drive and motivation to work so hard. Or maybe the truth is that they're a million times smarter than me, and they only have to try a little to get a 4.0. I don't know which it really is, but I know that they have to have something better than me in order to be so much better than me.
Thinking about Freshman and Sophomore year, I feel really disappointed in the type of student I was. Thinking about this year, I'm really disappointed in the person I've become. Sadly, I can't be a good student and a good person/friend/sister/daughter all at the same time. I can try, but then I would just fall short of my own expectations.
I was sitting on my bed just a few minutes ago, trying to use Cramers rule to solve a system of three linear equations, and I just couldn't solve one problem. I still haven't worked that problem out, and the thought of incompleteness is hammering away at the back of my brain.
If there are already so many people better than me now, then I'll probably rank at the bottom in college. It's as if life is a gradual decline, academically. Top of my class throughout middle school, sink down to the middle in highschool, and become below average in college. It's just one of those days when you realize that people have to fail for you to succeed and you have to fail for someone else to succeed.
It's funny that I've learned about the American Dream all throughout Sophomore year and many times so far in Junior year. Why would they teach us something so idealistic and then crush our dreams with the reality that it doesn't exist for most people?
Realistically, all systems only work if people are better than each other. If everyone had the same performance level, then the system of life would fail and everyone would be at the same ranks. Oh then that brings up Communism. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but I think the idea behind Communism is great. It's the ideal right? -_- Communism = good. People = evil.
All of a sudden, I feel disgusted by all the crap I have in my room. Everything has a label. That's kind of scaring me. There is no originality in this world anymore. AHHHHHHHHHH.
Total paranoia post.
I get pounding headaches every day afterschool.
Thinking about Freshman and Sophomore year, I feel really disappointed in the type of student I was. Thinking about this year, I'm really disappointed in the person I've become. Sadly, I can't be a good student and a good person/friend/sister/daughter all at the same time. I can try, but then I would just fall short of my own expectations.
I was sitting on my bed just a few minutes ago, trying to use Cramers rule to solve a system of three linear equations, and I just couldn't solve one problem. I still haven't worked that problem out, and the thought of incompleteness is hammering away at the back of my brain.
If there are already so many people better than me now, then I'll probably rank at the bottom in college. It's as if life is a gradual decline, academically. Top of my class throughout middle school, sink down to the middle in highschool, and become below average in college. It's just one of those days when you realize that people have to fail for you to succeed and you have to fail for someone else to succeed.
It's funny that I've learned about the American Dream all throughout Sophomore year and many times so far in Junior year. Why would they teach us something so idealistic and then crush our dreams with the reality that it doesn't exist for most people?
Realistically, all systems only work if people are better than each other. If everyone had the same performance level, then the system of life would fail and everyone would be at the same ranks. Oh then that brings up Communism. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but I think the idea behind Communism is great. It's the ideal right? -_- Communism = good. People = evil.
All of a sudden, I feel disgusted by all the crap I have in my room. Everything has a label. That's kind of scaring me. There is no originality in this world anymore. AHHHHHHHHHH.
Total paranoia post.
I get pounding headaches every day afterschool.
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