It never occured to me until today when Eliza asked me for a dollar that I'm incredibly careless with my money. Not only do I keep my money in random, easy-to-lose places, but I spend without thinking about how hard it is to earn that dollar. I mean, my parents slave away to give me money, but I just throw it away like it's nothing.

I don't purchase material items as much as the average teenager because I don't go shopping very often. But given the time, I would spend wrecklessly. Even though I did work over the summer, I didn't learn the value of a dollar. With a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and hardly any responsibilities, all the money I earned (after taxes, of course)was free for my spending. And spend it I did.

I'm not implying that I'm unwilling to lend my friends money, but I think I should be more careful with my dealings with money as a whole from now on. Gotta keep track of how much I spend during a week and keep tabs to remember who owes me what. I feel like I'm betraying my parents if I continue to do otherwise.

Most of this sprung from how much I've been buying coffee and red bull lately. Instead of buying clothes like a lot of people I know, I'm buying the ability to stay awake. The price of that is actually more than greenbacks, though, sometimes I really feel as if my body is deteriorating with every extra hour I stay awake. Besides that though, the prospect of being on my own for college is more intimidating than ever. I can't exactly run to my mom and beg her for money every time I need something...

I always thought it was funny that Schwarz's dream is to buy a house. I know lots of people that own houses, but what I never considered was how long they had to work to pay off their house. In the future, I think I'd be the kind of person who wouldn't feel like she owns her own house until all the payments are paid off.

I think it's time for me to buy my own caramel and make my own Caramel Macchiatos because that shit is burning a hole in my pocket.

DBQ tomorrow. Yay.