I never actually believed that one small event in a person's life can spiral causing a chain reaction of events. I mean, I've always felt that bad things come one after another, but it always seemed coincidental.

I've been a little disoriented for about two or three weeks now after hearing about my brother's break up. As ridiculous as it sounds, I feel like I was the child whose parents were going through a divorce. Days and days of crying and incessant whining.

I don't even know who I've become since then. I'm so needy and a little self destructive these days. I was so much more together at the beginning of the school year.

The scariest part about letting yourself get close to another person is that you feel like you lose your independence. It's almost disgusting for me to know that someone else has such an impact over how I feel and what I do from day to day. I'm too young to feel this way but it takes so much more energy to pull away.

I haven't been sleeping enough. I haven't been studying. My grades are not spectacular anymore; not even close. I made a few very impulsive online purchases with money that I don't even have. I do all these stupid things to keep my mind off "stuff."

I'm indulging on a lot of TV shows because I am basically living vicariously through the characters on the shows. Ugly Betty and her office romance. It looks so fun on TV!

I want to do so much but I don't have money to do all those things! I want to go to Taiwan this summer. I want to go sky-diving. ARGHhhhh