I've never quite realized how much I hated thinking.. That includes all types of thinking, mind you. Thinking for school, thinking for ideas, thinking about life, blah blah blah. It feels like shit just trying to express myself right now. I've been really tired lately.. and I guess it's a good thing. Hell I'm pretty lucky, since I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I was completely exhausted. And that is where the thinking comes in. I've just been thinking about everything. Things that I say, things that I wish I said, things that I wish I did, things that I want to do. There's always been that part of me that wants to run away. And I mean running away from the world, not from home. I wonder how it'd feel, being alone for a while. No human contact. I'm sure everything would be nice at first, but in no time, I bet I'd long for some kind of contact. Ah.. I've been feeling so eww since last week.. and I think Valentines day was just another PFFFTT added on to it. Sickness is slowly going away, but I still just feel like crap, emotionally that is.

Wow what a bunch of crap. So I worked on the project today, and then I went home and did nothing except chat for a while. Then I went over to my brother's house to TRY to do homework. Other things were on my mind.. so I just kind of sat there staring at his beautiful wallpaper and admiring the pictures that come with his ikea frames. I just don't know what's wrong with me.. Although I know I have homeworks to be done, I still just sit there staring blankly. It's like my brain is fighting with itself. Part of it is telling me "YOU GOTTA FINISH THIS CRAP" and the other part is just drifting away thinking about other people or just other things. I'm pretty sure I've said this numerous times, but I just can't concentrate sometimes, and it really pisses me off...

That feeling.. it just drives me fucking insane. I was seriously pacing back and forth trying to like think of other things so that I could concentrate on homework. In the end, I just went online and talked about hott mens with the chat people. I got off and tired to do homework again. I was semi successful because I did another half a page of notes... Then my parents came to pick me up and now I'm here.

wow.. just right now.. that empty feeling came. That feeling is practically indescribable so I won't even bother. It almost feels like my heart is weighing me down..


why do i feel like i have no one to turn to? wait i really don't.. because i know everyone is already annoyed with whatever this shit is.