save me
I really wish sometimes, that I never met certain people. If I hadn't met this person, I wouldn't have gone through hell in 8th grade. If I hadn't met this person, I might not be typing this dumbass entry right now.
A lot of the time, I wish people would give me the same type of attention I give them. Maybe the word attention gives off the wrong idea here.. but I mean like.. I wish people would care about me as much as I do them. In friendships, I wish you get as much as you give, just so no one feels unappreciated or whatever. When I feel comfortable spilling out my emotions to someone, it feels fucking wrong that they don't do the same back. Am I just insane.. or do you people out there feel the same too? To want and need someone.. and have them want and need you the same amount too. It's not much to ask. I'm not even like refering to a specific case here. I'm just saying all this bullshit because I want to know more about someone, and they don't fucking let me in. It's kind of new to me.
I hate feeling like I wasted my time. That was what?.. Two years of emotions wasted on this person? Maybe the first year was worth it, because he was absolutely perfect then. Times change.. people change, so of course, he did too. Comparing who he is now to who he was when I first fell for him is like comparing night and day. I don't know who the hell he is anymore. It confuses the shit out of me.. and it angers me like fuck too. WHY the fuck did this happen. I don't fucking get it.
Why the fuck did I let myself get so emotionally effected. Why does anyone?
I'm so fucking a;lskdjflaksjfd. I don't want to see anyone.. for a very long time. I was so fucking obsessed and stupid. I'd jump at the sight of him signing online.. or if he ever called me. GOD. Someone should have shot me.. because that is some dumb shit to get excited over. AH shit, was i that stupid? DIE DIE DIE DIE. I want to pull out my fucking hair.
goodnight.
So, life is stupid. I had In N Out today. That was nice. I also took a walk to Sutro Heights by myself. It was really soothing, but it was too hard to get all my "troubles" out of my mind.. I wasn't able to fully feel the peaceful vibes coming from the ocean waves.
I walked like 26 blocks. It was the best part of my day. Listening to mk's cd while I walked. The sun started to set as I was walking.. so it was like a treat luring me to the bigger goal at the end..
A lot of the time, I wish people would give me the same type of attention I give them. Maybe the word attention gives off the wrong idea here.. but I mean like.. I wish people would care about me as much as I do them. In friendships, I wish you get as much as you give, just so no one feels unappreciated or whatever. When I feel comfortable spilling out my emotions to someone, it feels fucking wrong that they don't do the same back. Am I just insane.. or do you people out there feel the same too? To want and need someone.. and have them want and need you the same amount too. It's not much to ask. I'm not even like refering to a specific case here. I'm just saying all this bullshit because I want to know more about someone, and they don't fucking let me in. It's kind of new to me.
I hate feeling like I wasted my time. That was what?.. Two years of emotions wasted on this person? Maybe the first year was worth it, because he was absolutely perfect then. Times change.. people change, so of course, he did too. Comparing who he is now to who he was when I first fell for him is like comparing night and day. I don't know who the hell he is anymore. It confuses the shit out of me.. and it angers me like fuck too. WHY the fuck did this happen. I don't fucking get it.
Why the fuck did I let myself get so emotionally effected. Why does anyone?
I'm so fucking a;lskdjflaksjfd. I don't want to see anyone.. for a very long time. I was so fucking obsessed and stupid. I'd jump at the sight of him signing online.. or if he ever called me. GOD. Someone should have shot me.. because that is some dumb shit to get excited over. AH shit, was i that stupid? DIE DIE DIE DIE. I want to pull out my fucking hair.
goodnight.
So, life is stupid. I had In N Out today. That was nice. I also took a walk to Sutro Heights by myself. It was really soothing, but it was too hard to get all my "troubles" out of my mind.. I wasn't able to fully feel the peaceful vibes coming from the ocean waves.
I walked like 26 blocks. It was the best part of my day. Listening to mk's cd while I walked. The sun started to set as I was walking.. so it was like a treat luring me to the bigger goal at the end..
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