So this was a busy week for me. I had my priorities straight this week, but I had already dug myself into too deep of a hole to redeem myself in one week. That's actually not true, but it sounds pretty okay doesn't it? It's better than accepting the fact that I've worked pretty hard lately, and received failure in return.
I'm damn scared of the AP Euro Exam coming up in about three weeks. The prospect of failing has crossed my mind a lot lately, and it'd be such a waste of my time if I fail. I wouldn't be happy with a 3 either because that's still a waste of an entire year's worth of a voluntary history class. It'd be great if I could find moral out of all these trials I'm facing, but the chances are, I'm not that lucky.
In English class, my teacher has a way of being so honest that it leaves me feeling even more insecure with myself than before I stepped foot into the classroom. The ironic thing is that I have a gut feeling my teacher lies to himself as well. He actually has the best cover up because he's teaching the truth, so obviously, he has to face the truth to be able to teach it, right? I feel that his personality is reflected on his struggles and accomplishments in his life. He's one of those people that wears their heart on their sleeves. I like that because I feel like I can relate to him. He's such a brilliant man in such a low paying job. I've never had this much respect for an English teacher. None of them are exactly praise-worthy, especially not worth my blogging time. He says that many people will die before they find out who they are. He said that with a serious yet sarcastic tone. I felt that his statement was an ultimatium of some sort.. He tells us to be who we are right now, especially in front our parents, so we won't live confused, unsuccessful, and unhappy lives. He also asked us if we were able to define ourselves. You can bet that the entire class was deep in thought, yet still unable to come up with an answer. He chose a stereotype to define us, as Lowell students. According to him, we will usually define ourselves as student, and most likely describe the classes we're good at and other statements of the sort. I really can't speak for the class, but I could see it in everyone's eyes that they knew that our teacher's statements were dead on true. I was hurt by his words because they were so honest. It always hurts when you face reality, am I right?
The reason for my reference to that situation is that I truly believe I will live for a long long time before I realize who I am or who I want to be. It will be too late for me to become who I am at that point, and all I can do is continue to live for the sake of living. I need to do some serious soul searching, but school is in my way.
Although I loathe school in more ways than you can imagine, I feel like its molding me into something different every week, defining who I am. Without school, I don't know what I'd obsess over, or what my morals would be like. I know I won't come out of Lowell the same person, but that just means I'll come out more confused about who I am. Is that better than who I would be without Lowell?
SEE. I am damn obsessed with that damn school of mine.
I'm damn scared of the AP Euro Exam coming up in about three weeks. The prospect of failing has crossed my mind a lot lately, and it'd be such a waste of my time if I fail. I wouldn't be happy with a 3 either because that's still a waste of an entire year's worth of a voluntary history class. It'd be great if I could find moral out of all these trials I'm facing, but the chances are, I'm not that lucky.
In English class, my teacher has a way of being so honest that it leaves me feeling even more insecure with myself than before I stepped foot into the classroom. The ironic thing is that I have a gut feeling my teacher lies to himself as well. He actually has the best cover up because he's teaching the truth, so obviously, he has to face the truth to be able to teach it, right? I feel that his personality is reflected on his struggles and accomplishments in his life. He's one of those people that wears their heart on their sleeves. I like that because I feel like I can relate to him. He's such a brilliant man in such a low paying job. I've never had this much respect for an English teacher. None of them are exactly praise-worthy, especially not worth my blogging time. He says that many people will die before they find out who they are. He said that with a serious yet sarcastic tone. I felt that his statement was an ultimatium of some sort.. He tells us to be who we are right now, especially in front our parents, so we won't live confused, unsuccessful, and unhappy lives. He also asked us if we were able to define ourselves. You can bet that the entire class was deep in thought, yet still unable to come up with an answer. He chose a stereotype to define us, as Lowell students. According to him, we will usually define ourselves as student, and most likely describe the classes we're good at and other statements of the sort. I really can't speak for the class, but I could see it in everyone's eyes that they knew that our teacher's statements were dead on true. I was hurt by his words because they were so honest. It always hurts when you face reality, am I right?
The reason for my reference to that situation is that I truly believe I will live for a long long time before I realize who I am or who I want to be. It will be too late for me to become who I am at that point, and all I can do is continue to live for the sake of living. I need to do some serious soul searching, but school is in my way.
Although I loathe school in more ways than you can imagine, I feel like its molding me into something different every week, defining who I am. Without school, I don't know what I'd obsess over, or what my morals would be like. I know I won't come out of Lowell the same person, but that just means I'll come out more confused about who I am. Is that better than who I would be without Lowell?
SEE. I am damn obsessed with that damn school of mine.
1 Comments:
I know, whenever I do badly on a Chem test (or rather, whenever I take a Chem test). I'll complain about not studying enough becuase I'd rather not feel as if I really failed.
Your teacher is REALLY deep. My teacher, she's great though, she provokes thought, but she's actually never talked to the class about defining ourselves. Maybe one day.
--Lone
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