Helplessness

In Psych, we learned about something called learned helplessness. It's when you fail at something, or something gets too hard, and instead of trying to come up with new ideas to get out of the miserable situation, you just sit there and let shit happen to you.

I can't help but feel helpless and sorry for myself when shit gets tough. All I want to do is sit around and sulk and possibly sleep.

You know, I really wish I had time to sleep for 7 hours a night. That would be such a dream come true for me.

I'm weak. When I'm vulnerable, I'm really vulnerable. Anything can break me down at this moment. Want an example of patheticness? I just cried because my parents friends were talking too loud outside and I woke up twice from my nap. And now, I feel really cranky and sad and pathetic.

I need to concentrate on the tasks on hand, but I can't. I'm letting the helplessness get the best of me, and I'm just sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

Oh in case people notice, I uninstalled AIM for now. I won't reinstall anytime soon either because it's a complicated process for me to reinstall AIM + DeadAIM. I also put Andrew in charge of my xanga account, so I won't be reading any subscriptions either. If you need me, email me. Don't call me unless it's important. I will get angry if you interrupt my sleep, and you really don't know when I'd be sleeping.

If you want to make me happy, drive me home from school everyday or buy me caffiene pills or something. I think that's the next thing I'm going to have to try in order to stay awake. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I love my mom. I wish I could stop making her worry about me.