I've always been disgusted at those who have so much to be thankful for yet still bitch about seemingly every detail of their lives until I realized that I am one of them. The problem with me is that I'm a hypocrit that never realizes it until later. I'm honestly tired of what this year has turned me into. If I don't blame this year, then I suppose I just hate who I've become over the past year or so.

I hate it when my mom asks me what's wrong. I tell her she doesn't understand; she says she does. What do you do in that situation? I try to explain to my parents that they can't possibly completely understand if I don't even know the cause of all "this." The more they insist that they understand, the angrier I get. That's part of being a stupid angsty teen that I've recently become the epitome of. Sucks for me I suppose.

I feel like there is so real solution to this. My parents say it's because I'm at that stage in my life when I should be feeling this way. Are they arguing that I'm biologically predisposed to feel this way? I guess my parents know a little more about psychology than I expected. hah.

The worse part is the fact that I'm a brat. Temper tantrums? Hysterical sobbing? Screaming? The-Whole-World-Revolves-Around-Me Syndrome? I plead guilty to all four. As far as I'm concerned, the world does revolve around me because if it's not, then I can't control anything in this world. I think that's why I act the way I do sometimes. Rather than thinking logically, I purposely have a skewed perception of the world so I have something to blame. It's so childish and selfish, but in those moments of insanity, I don't see any of that.

You know what though? I think the rest of my family has The-Whole-World-Revolves-Around-Me Syndrome. It's probably genetic because everyone wants everything at their own convenience. Every time someone has to do something, we always ask, "why can't so and so do it?" It's always really hard to get my brothers to do anything for me. At the same time, I feel like I have to drop everything to help them when they ask me. I'm sure they think the same way about me. It's disturbing to realize that everyone sees the world differently and therefore no one can really see things from your perspective.

I was really irrational this weekend. I didn't even try to filter out all the crap I normally would when talking to people. As far as I was concerned, the world catered to me last night.

Individualistic cultures breed stupid asses like me. If I lived in a collectivist culture, I wouldn't think it's okay to act the way I do.