Everyone I know is making a serious effort to get into college/ pay for college. Am I the only one that's not doing anything to heightening his or her chances of getting into college? As much as I'd like to worry about this crap, I don't have the time to. Every time I try to force myself to go see my counselor, homework assignments get in the way. Every time I try to force myself to go to the VICCI center, studying seems to be the more practical decision. I don't even know where to start with all this. I don't have a plan. I don't really want a plan though. This is probably not the best time to start freaking out either since I'm supposed to be finishing homework and studying for a Precalc test.

The plan has always been work hard, get financial aid and a Cal Grant and go to a UC. I've never even thought about another path. I'm starting to think that I'm limiting myself because it's the easiest solution. The truth is that I don't want to go to a big college. I want to go to a small college where class sizes are no bigger than my class sizes now. I probably won't even look into small colleges though. It's not really an option for me. I'm Chinese. Chinese people either go to prestigous Ivy League colleges, or resort to UCs. Why do I stick to this bad stereotype? Well, it's the easy way out.

I haven't even taken my first SAT yet. How do I know I'll even get into a UC? This school year is so taxing on me psychologically and physically. I don't have the energy to think about anything except for the task on hand, which is school and getting through the year.

I need to plan my summer. I need a freaking internship. I need to talk to my counselor. Damn it. Why aren't my friends pushing me? You guys are supposed to be helping me and talking me through this. Why are you guys not yelling at me? Everyone is worried about themselves thats why. I guess I'd be the same? I don't know. Fuck I'm rambling.