I am way too obsessed with One Tree Hill. The show isn't actually that good when I think about it long and hard, but there's just something so damn captivating about all the unrealistic drama that occurs weekly on that show! I love it! It's my guilty pleasure and literally the only television show I make the effort to keep up with.

A commercial told me that 7th Heaven is going to end soon. I loved watching that over the summer, but I haven't kept up with it since I left for China. I wish I had more time to rot my brain with 7th Heaven and Gilmore Girls. So what? I love that mushy family yet drama-filled crap!

I'm clearly bashing those shows because of reaction formation. I am, however, admitting that I like it, so I wonder what that means?

I decided that there is no way I can do homework tonight anyway. After I post this entry, I'm going to binge on some Haagen-Dazs mango ice cream. I feel fat. There's actually fat coming out from my stomach. This has never happened to be before. But part of me doesn't really care. I'd like to believe that I can work the flab off when I have the time, but I know that it won't really happen. We'll see what happens I guess. I predict that I will get pretty fat, but maybe if someone forces me to stick to a fitness regimen over this summer, I can actually get in shape again.

The truth is, I wanted to go the library again today, but I was afraid that the people there would look at me weird. I sat there outlining for 6 hours on Tuesday. Two consecutive days in a row might raise some eyebrows and some weird looks. I hate those, so I decided to rot at home and not accomplish anything instead. It just goes to show how my stupid personality whatevers inhibit my goal-reaching abilities. I'm not articulate. Shoot me.

I feel like cutting my hair. I've noticed that whenever I fall into a slump, I feel the need to get out of the slump and somehow renew myself before I can face the world. I tend to use my best judgment to keep those irrational tendencies from manifesting, but there was one year when I cut my hair three times in six months. I associate hair with personality. I don't know why. If you have boring hair, you're probably not that interesting. My hair is pretty boring and I think that goes to show you how boring I am. I really am boring though; I outline and rant all the time, and that's it.

I had crab tonight. My mom sat next to me cracking shells and breaking out the crab meat for me. She didn't eat any herself. I love her for that. It makes me wonder if I can be as selfless as my mom. I asked my mom that, and she said I wouldn't! haha. She says I'll sit in front of the computer so much that I wouldn't want to peel crab shell for my kids. My dad chimed in and said I should marry a rich guy so I could hire someone to crack crab shells FOR me. I want to be as selfless as my mom. I really don't think I will be, but I'm hoping that the process of giving birth and actually having a child would transform me into what a REAL mom should be like. Although what a REAL mom should be like is up to alterations at the moment, on the top of that list is selflessness, something I definitely don't understand quite yet.

For some reason, people like to insult people's moms. I don't get it! It really hurts on some level. No matter what, I'm always going to think that my mom is the best. Does your mom peel off the orange skins for you?! PROBABLY NOT!! I'm talking about the inner translucent skin. She refrigerates it for me, too. BEAT THAT! My mom also stays up late to wake me up from my nap to do homework because she doesn't always trust my dad to wake me up. haha. <3

Of course I'd never say all this stuff to my mom at once. I do thank her and randomly yell to my dad that "mommy loves me” though.

How can Thursday be tomorrow? The week is passing way too fast.

I think it's time for some Mango ice cream.