I blame psych class

The more someone tells you that you are a certain way, the more you're going to act that way. I've always been a little neurotic and a perfectionist in select circumstances, but my obsessive compulsive tendencies have increased tenfold after learning about psychological disorders this semester.

Although it's probably not apparent when you look at my room, I'm a neat freak for a lot of things. It's obvious in all reports that I turn into the teacher, so I'd imagine that's why Kwong thinks I'm a little obsessive.

But more than anything, I'm afraid of change. I need to have things planned out before I do anything or else I fall apart while doing the task. I get really really anxious before presentations, so I always need to plan out every single thing that I say before I step on "stage" and give my speech or whatever it is that I'm presenting.

Today, a group presented on the impeachment of Bill Clinton. They had this fabulous video which they taped themselves. The video satirically captured the gist of the impeachment ordeal AND it was very cute because they did little paper figures with picture heads taped on. I'm sure they all practiced a lot, but the equipment failed, causing their entire presentation to appear sloppy. If that happened to me up there, I would have started crying. My heart was aching for today's group because I could see the annoyed expression on Schwarz's face. Their video probably redeemed them, but I think Schwarz probably took off a lot of points for a failed powerpoint.

I thought both of today's presentations were good. The plastic surgery group really knew their stuff, but I know for sure that they didn't rehearse together. I'm really impressed with their performance because they also had a few technical delays, but they were able to continue with the presentation with ease. Plastic surgery is disgusting. I constantly cringed at all of the vivid descriptions that Tom oh-so-nicely shared with the class. He even drew a diagram to explain one of them.. I was like O_O

I've never liked my math teacher, but he officially confirmed his position my worse-teachers-of-all-time hall of fame. We still have a math final tomorrow, but he collected our books. What the hell? I hate him. I had some work left in my book, but he wouldn't let me get that either. Great. He needs to not teach anymore. That's all I will say about him for now. Oh and the final he gave was nothing like the tests he usually gives us... the unfamiliar font and cramped spacing nearly gave me a nervous breakdown during the test.

But back to my original point. I think the fact that I'm starting to believe that I'm a little OC is causing me to behave more obsessively. Although I don't count the number of times I wash my hands nor do I wash my hands a particular way, I've been washing my hands more and more each day. My skin is sort of raw in certain areas and it won't heal because I keep washing my hands. I know you're just thinking, "why doesn't she just stop then?" but it's not that easy. My hands constantly feel sticky and disgusting and the only way to get rid of that distraction is to wash my damn hands. My mom is mad at me because I'm letting my skin go to crap.

I hate math. I HATE IT. Why am I taking Calc next year? Damn brotherly-competition pressure! GRRrr

I need this school year to end.

Melody softly soaring through my atmosphere