It makes me really sad to come to terms with the fact that the world really does move on. As much as I hated how depressed I was, I felt that my reaction to my separation from G at least indicated that there was some degree of hanging on to something that made me happy for so long. But I am moving on, finally. I'm so happy to be able to enjoy things in life, but I feel like I got smacked in the face when I think about how insignificant I am in this world.

Life goes on and on and on despite what happens to me. So that means that right now I might not matter to G. Or in a week or a month or a year I won't matter at all anymore. And that sucks. It also sucks that he won't matter to me anymore. At some point I might even forget about him entirely. I hate that. I wish there was a way to move on without forgetting, but I don't think it's possible. The only way to get over something and move on is to not remember, to not constantly think of that person. I wish that wasn't truly the case.

I finally don't want to ever get back together with him. What a huge step. But why am I not happier about this? It's such a bittersweet feeling to realize that I will be okay. I guess humans can never be satisfied...