eliza... hMmm... well i wouldnt say i'm struggling.. but iono.. i'm starting to realize things... but the problem is... i dunno how to deal wit them.. its like what can i do about henry going off to college in like 2 years? its like the problems i have are weird.. not exactly normal yah kno.. ehHh i blame rye.. cuz he somehow triggered all these emotions.. but its comforting that i kno he cares.. hehe =) yes yes head over heels whatever... its all the same... heh i just kno i am in like with tha guy... heh kno what.. he reads my blog too.. hahahahahah oh whatever i dont care.. he might not even be able to figure out its him.. hahahhaha.. dun feel bad eliza.. cuz i dun think anyone ken really help.. i think i just gotta talk to my family?.. iono.. but i'm not ready.. i am wayy too drowned in school stuff... its koo.. as long as i'm happy.. i dun think about that kinda stuff... and u ken still depend on me... =) always.. and.. hmm you kan see thru me.. it just depends what the subject is.. realize that i keep family stuff very limited unless i really gotta talk about it... gotta understand that i think my family's shit is our shit... if it doesnt affect me very much... you probably wont know about it.. iono... but i guess family secrecy is very important to me? iono how to explain it... so i guess its mostly the family stuff that gets to me.. would u agree to that? ehh too much to think about.. must concentrate on hw..