I was in the car with my parents on Friday as we were heading down to Chinatown to purchase some snacks for me, and some bowls for my brother's house, when my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I got "older." Just think, older means about 4-6 yeard depending on my decision to put an undecided major, or to decide on a major while applying to a college. As usual, we stumbled upon the "I wish one of you guys (as in one of the four children) would become a doctor. Then you can cure me of all this _________ (whatever they ramble on about in Chinese that I cannot explain in English)." They also brought up the fact that one of their friends Mrs. Galente had asked me a few weeks ago over the phone what I wanted to major in. I told her an honest answer because I knew she would understand where I'm coming from, since she too went to college and she's white and speaks perfect english. What did I say?! I said I was really interested in history, mostly European and World history, definitely not American history. I also mentioned that I don't think I would pursue a career in a field related to any of those subjects simply because the jobs available are either too boring and/or too low pay. The thought of being a history/social studies teacher has crossed my mind on numerous occasions, but I could never raise a family on that salary, and I plan on putting my family before my career. Mrs. Galente suggested that since I'd be learning Mandarin, and I am semi fluent, or at least I will be fluent in Cantonese, I can get a job relating to history and translating documents or whatever. In my opinion, it sounds boring and I don't know if I'd want to do something like that. Anyway, she told my parents all of this, and so they quetsioned me about why I'd want to have anything to do with history. My dad never finished highschool in Vietnam or whatever even though he knows more than any high school graduate in modern times, and my mom always hated history. They're wondering where I even got this interest from, since to them, everything in life is hereditary. My dad actually had a pretty good idea, and he suggested becoming some type of diplomatic translator person that has to do with a relations between nations. Those things would require previous political knowledge and what not. It sounds pretty good, but not enough to do with history. Which once again leaves me feeling emptier than before because all the ideas anyone came up with were not satisfactory in my opinion.

Someone, I can't remember who, once told me that I should be a doctor because I can explain stuff in simple terms, or something like that. The idea of helping people is great, but I can't take the scientific learning portion of doctoring. Microbiology sounds like such a pain in the arse and it's one of the key things you need to learn in order to be a doctor. But you know what, I can always become an optomotrist or an orthodontist. Optomologist wouldn't be too bad either, but it's still a real doctor. I kind of like the optomotrist idea..

Since I forgot the point of my entry, I'll just talk about what I thought of JUST now. People who don't care about what they want to grow up to be, in my opinon, will be better off in the end for 2 reasons. 1. They won't have problems with stressing over this. 2. They will find their path and have a really good life because they let destiny take its toll. BUT THEN AGAIN, people who don't care are usually lazy bastids who don't deserve that kind of convenience in their lives. Here I am, just killing myself over what I want to be; not for anyone else, but I care! Gah damn it. Caring is not sharing; caring is death. End of entry..