Competition really motivates me to work hard in school, but the sad side effect is that it puts me against someone I consider to be my friend. (Well, most of the time it doesn't feel like it anymore) It's so sad that I can't intrinsically motivate myself to work in school. Why do I need to be better than her? But why do I even need to be better than her? Do I think I'm not as good as her? I don't envy anything about her, I just know that being below her in any way is unacceptable. I wonder if she always made me feel this way. How were we friends in middle school? I guess I didn't know her back then. She seemed so quiet and nice, but now that I think about it, she did so many fucked up things. Okay the end.

Although they won't read this, I hope Lowell Dragonboat OWNs today. Especially Michael Kim and Kelley Yee.