The more I hear people's grades for their APUSH project, the more angry I get at my group members for no good reason. I realize that under the circumstances we were under, we did a fantastic job. Yet on a whole other level, I can pick out every mistake we made during our presentation and I can dwell and brood over every little thing. My personality really pisses me off because I constantly beat myself up over things that I can't change now that the ordeal is over. I can't ever say, "oh well I'm happy with this grade." It's always, "damn it, we could have gotten blank number of points more!"

ugh.

I want to stop being such a jackass. I wish I were perfect. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I really wish that.

The fact that this is a Schwarz presentation makes it just THAT much worse. Why is it that I care so much about his class but I can't even force myself to study for a math final that is tomorrow. Why am I thinking about something that is over and done with? I'm NOT satisfied with myself. I finally finally understand what Douglas means when he says he hates the imperfections of the human body. I hate the constraints I have on myself physically and mentally.

I always try to cleanse myself of "yeet hay" stuff after I eat junk food. Right now, I feel like I need to purge my body of all unpleasant feelings. The only thing that makes me feel purified is drinking a lot of water. What the heck? I'll have to pee every fifteen minutes.

According to collegeboard, I beat 87% of the people that took the SATII US. Damn it would have felt just THAT much better if I beat 90% of the people that took the SATII US test.

I had a dream that I got over 2070 on this past SAT Reasoning test and I was able to take the SATII MATH2c test in October. Who the hell dreams about that shit? erg.

M. SUNK! take care of yourself.