"I know it's a wonderful world, but I can't feel it right now"

It's an official no-go for China trip this summer, and ever my mom told me, I've been feeling grumpy and unmotivated. I have no motivation for school anymore, and the prospective trip was the only thing in the future to look forward to. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel that motivates you to continue foward, but then BAM someone shuts off that light and you don't really know where you're aiming for anymore.

I know I'm being a drama queen about this shit, but I'm miserable. I know everyone around me is miserable, too. I'm just too ready to get out of school and hang out for a bit.

What am I supposed to do over the summer? Seriously.. What the hell am I supposed to do? Stay at home, be a couch potatoe and what? Nothing.

My parents say I can go to China in 2008, but I'm just like.. ehhh whatever. That's so far ahead in the future that who knows? What if I have to get an internship or something by then? There's no guarantees, and I just can't see what I'll want to do at that point in the future. I'll be 19 by then, but I'll still need someone to chaperone me on my trip. woohoo