I can't believe May is already coming to a close. It has been about a month since I took the AP Euro exam, though it feels like centuries ago. Some things seem to drag on and on, but the moments that matter the most flash by instantly. Life just isn't fair that way, I suppose.
Once in a while, when I'm up doing homework, usually Hathwell's English homework by the way, I think about the most random things. I think I'm best at clarifying my own thoughts to myself at this hour.
Some people are just naturals at bridging friendships and maintaining them. I don't think I'm one of those people. I'm just not lucky enough. I have to work to keep in touch with people. It almost feels like a chore sometimes. That's not how friendships are supposed to feel. Shouldn't it be natural to keep in touch with the people you enjoy spending your time with? I'm a freaking hermit sometimes, and the only person who has felt the effects of my hermit-like tendencies is Eliza. Sorry for not going out to play tennis today. I felt incredibly lazy when you called, and then I regretted my decision to decline your invitation right away. But I don't have enough balls to call someone and say "oh I changed my mind."
There are certain individuals who I hold to a different regard when I'm talking to them. Generally, I don't hold back if I really are about you, but there are two people who are just extra sensitive and need me to be "nice." I hate doing it. I feel like I'm being dishonest by sugar coating my words, but in order to maintain their friendships, I have to keep it up. Sometimes my pride needs to come second.
One day, I'm going to print out every entry in this damn thing and put it into a binder.
Once in a while, when I'm up doing homework, usually Hathwell's English homework by the way, I think about the most random things. I think I'm best at clarifying my own thoughts to myself at this hour.
Some people are just naturals at bridging friendships and maintaining them. I don't think I'm one of those people. I'm just not lucky enough. I have to work to keep in touch with people. It almost feels like a chore sometimes. That's not how friendships are supposed to feel. Shouldn't it be natural to keep in touch with the people you enjoy spending your time with? I'm a freaking hermit sometimes, and the only person who has felt the effects of my hermit-like tendencies is Eliza. Sorry for not going out to play tennis today. I felt incredibly lazy when you called, and then I regretted my decision to decline your invitation right away. But I don't have enough balls to call someone and say "oh I changed my mind."
There are certain individuals who I hold to a different regard when I'm talking to them. Generally, I don't hold back if I really are about you, but there are two people who are just extra sensitive and need me to be "nice." I hate doing it. I feel like I'm being dishonest by sugar coating my words, but in order to maintain their friendships, I have to keep it up. Sometimes my pride needs to come second.
One day, I'm going to print out every entry in this damn thing and put it into a binder.
1 Comments:
cousin, i miss you again. haha, sometimes i hate the feeling when friendship feels like a chore especially when i feel im the only one that tries to keep in contact with them and the others don't. im gonna fucking hate it when i lose all my friends. ._. dunno what to do. Shi xxx
Post a Comment
<< Home