So I was thinking about the title of my entry.. "gradual shift..." when I realized I'm also gradually shifting away from my China buddies. In China, I got to see Norm and Edward EVERY SINGLE DAY, and not being able to do that now really makes me feel crappy. I last saw Norm on Wednesday, and I feel as if I don't know him anymore. With Edward, it wasn't that bad since I saw him on Friday, but I hate knowing that once school starts, it'll be even harder to keep in touch with them. On top of that, I don't want to freaking bother Norm because that dumbfuck is in college . Edward, I can still bother, but he's taking like four APs, volunteering, and getting a job, so WTF am I supposed to do. I knew my tendency to get attached to people yet I still allowed myself to fully emerse myself in friendships I made during the trip. Today, I looked through Pamela's picture from the trip and I realized how much I miss Derek. I talked to him a lot during the beginning of the trip but I hardly spoke to him before he left. I miss staying up in the lobby just talking to him about our lives back home. Gah, I'm really aching to go back to Shunde and see everyone again.

The fact that school is starting again isn't what's overwelming me, it's the fact that I'm switching back to the old life which does not include all the wonderful people I met over the summer. I know I'm just being dramatic, and this will all pass eventually, but what I'm feeling right now is just fucking up my concentration. I need a big fat hug. SEE if I wa s still in China, I could go knock on Norm and Ed's room and make one of them give me a hug! Fucking shit. I hate being back in cold ass fucking SF.