Throughout my life, I know I will run into people whom I feel obligated to be courteous to even if they dont deserve an ounce of my respect. In this cut and dry world, I know I'll be forced to be fake and make connections with people I hate. Just thinking about how fake everything is really drives me nuts. Planning ahead to be fake is what scares me even more. I will never be one of those in your face, confrontational before all else kinda girl. I'm not afraid of confrontation, but I do know the consequences of it, and I tend to avoid it until I know I no longer need the person whom I wish to confront. How screwed up is that?

I can think of at least a dozen people that I want out of my life at the moment, but I'm keeping them around because they are useful to me. I mean, everyone has their good moments, so I guess it would be lying to say that I hate their guts. However, I think I can live without the constant hostility that I have to deal with.

Then there are the people you will have to see for the rest of your high school career. I resist from conflict there as well because I don't want to deal with the drama that comes with confrontation.

Wow I just totally pulled a Holden Caufield. hahaha.