Every time after I get a haircut, I write an entry about how I associate identity with hair. Well, my hair is definitely different.. drastically different. But I don't feel different. Maybe if my hair looked fanastic, I'd feel fantastic, but I feel the normal about of shittiness. But it's not that bad. I will survive.

But one thing that's been on my mind a lot now that I have virtually nothing better to do is why people like the people they like. From an outside point of view, it's really easy for me to ask someone "why the hell would you like her?" My friend likes someone who I secretly despise. It's not really a secret because this person knows that I nearly hate his crush. If I was in his position, I would be pretty angry at myself. It would make me feel pretty crappy if my friends didn't like the person I like.

So the question is, why do we like the people we like? I haven't seriously liked anyone since summer. I had none of those heart-pounding feelings where I would suddenly feel happy just thinking about my crush. I almost miss that feeling actually. It's always in hindsight that I think to myself "wtf did I see in this person, he obviously is" blah blah blah. But is it because of my discovery of this unattractive qualities that cause me to stop liking the person or is it because I stopped liking the person that I can only see the bad qualities?

I've been looking at EVERYTHING in hindsight this year. That's why I feel like I haven't made any progress as a person. I've dwelled so much on my past shortcomings that I never even though about my current bad qualities. Everyone says that you need to think about the future. I think you should think about the present because the way you are in the present is very likely to influence your future.

Everything in this post was sort of stream of conciousness that sprung from the thought of how much I dislike someone. I guess anger and rage can really inspire you sometimes.