I feel really disgusting right now because I did nothing all day. I finished a few assignments here and there, but in the end, I still have plenty of homework left until the last minute.

That's where I'm going wrong. When you leave things to the last minute, you feel discouraged and more willing to accept mediocrity. That's what I've been doing lately. I've been watching hours and hours of TV and then trying to half-ass my homework before I head to bed.

I hate the sound of a phone ringing or vibrating. To me, it means that someone is calling to give me some sort of bad news or calling to ask me for a favor. It wouldn't matter so much except that those are the ONLY types of calls I get. Nothing happy, no good news.

School is so draining. Every single time I start to worry about what I could be doing better for the future just makes me so sad and tired. And every single time, I try to rationalize with myself, to calm myself down by coming up with a mediocre compromise that allows me to feel less insecure.

This year, I'm trying not to let school consume me. That's what I decided, but it's impossible to keep my mind off all the stuff I should be doing.

Weekends are supposed to be relaxing, but they never freaking are. With Chinese school on Saturday mornings, the only days I get to sleep in are Sundays, and of course because of that, I wake up after noon and waste most of my day. There is no winning.

I don't know what it is, but I cry really easily watching sappy shows. Extreme Make Over: Home Edition? I used to be tough, but after this summer, I went soft. Crying is visible weakness.