I truly envy those people that are enjoying school. It amazes me to see happy faces at school. I feel as though I'm the only one who isn't happy to see everyone everyday. Few things make me happy at school these days. It the consequence of trying to stay focused in school. I haven't been doing a great job at focusing these past few days. It's tiring to have such a long list of things to accomplish in the back of my mind. I don't like how this paragraph is so choppy.
I used to be really good at staying awake to do homework. Even if I only get two hours of sleep the night before, I am still very attentive in class. This year, even on days when sleep is plentiful, I find myself yawning by mod 13. That's only about 1 pm! I'm losing my touch.
We had our first Chinese Club meeting today. Things just aren't the same without Candy, Wendy, and Serene. The outcome was pretty pathetic this year. I guess there's no one else to blame but myself for not delegating responsibilities earlier. I've come to the conclusion that if I want things done, I'll need to tell them to do it or else try to juggle the burden along with schoolwork. I was honestly disappointed after today's meeting. What happened to our usual 40 something members of club? I didn't see that many familiar faces.. but then again there wasn't a lot of people there.
I have one thing to look forward to this weekend. If I can secure the income to, I think I will be getting my doubles or cartilage pierced. TIZITE? Yeah, I'm kind of excited. But the highlight of my weekend will be hanging out with Norm if he's free on Saturday. I haven't seen him in TWO WEEKS. Also, if I can, I will go visit Eliza at work. I can't believe I haven't found the time to go make fun of her yet -_-
I feel like whining so I'll repeat it. I am not feeling happy. I feel overwelmed. I miss people. I miss the heat in China. I miss summer. OK, I'm done for now.
---------------------------------
edit 10:04 pm
I remember in Kwong's class when she said two phrases that both represent something true except one sounded better than the other. Semantics are SO interesting and to be successful in life, you have to learn the art of rhetoric to obtain the ability to convince someone.
Today was a shitty ass day and I feel, I don't know. At this very moment, I have two choices in front of me. The first one is to focus and do my chapter five outline so I can ace the test tomorrow, or two, I can go back to sleep and make an effort to wake up later on in the night to do the outline. The obvious choice is to do what's right now, but I'm going to pick the second one even though I know better.
On the brightside though, it's not that deep-seeded never ending sadness kind of feeling. This feels almost like normal.
------------------------------------
edit 10:22 pm
I take it back. In less than half an hour, I was able to sit and stare at the screen and somehow make myelf feel worse. My patience in myself is waning. My patience in other people is already gone. People disappoint me and let me down. No one ever remembers anything that I say I have to do or will do. It's those small ass details in life that make life as whole, so if those small things suck, then life would too. I need someone attentive in my life. I don't like feeling like I constantly put more effort into everything and never get the same in return. It's actually really selfish to feel that way and I can't tell if my feelings are justified.
I guess if you think you're being selfish, the chances are, you are. Lets just try to keep that in mind.
Oh how I miss waking up next to him and just feeling his warm presense.
I used to be really good at staying awake to do homework. Even if I only get two hours of sleep the night before, I am still very attentive in class. This year, even on days when sleep is plentiful, I find myself yawning by mod 13. That's only about 1 pm! I'm losing my touch.
We had our first Chinese Club meeting today. Things just aren't the same without Candy, Wendy, and Serene. The outcome was pretty pathetic this year. I guess there's no one else to blame but myself for not delegating responsibilities earlier. I've come to the conclusion that if I want things done, I'll need to tell them to do it or else try to juggle the burden along with schoolwork. I was honestly disappointed after today's meeting. What happened to our usual 40 something members of club? I didn't see that many familiar faces.. but then again there wasn't a lot of people there.
I have one thing to look forward to this weekend. If I can secure the income to, I think I will be getting my doubles or cartilage pierced. TIZITE? Yeah, I'm kind of excited. But the highlight of my weekend will be hanging out with Norm if he's free on Saturday. I haven't seen him in TWO WEEKS. Also, if I can, I will go visit Eliza at work. I can't believe I haven't found the time to go make fun of her yet -_-
I feel like whining so I'll repeat it. I am not feeling happy. I feel overwelmed. I miss people. I miss the heat in China. I miss summer. OK, I'm done for now.
---------------------------------
edit 10:04 pm
I remember in Kwong's class when she said two phrases that both represent something true except one sounded better than the other. Semantics are SO interesting and to be successful in life, you have to learn the art of rhetoric to obtain the ability to convince someone.
Today was a shitty ass day and I feel, I don't know. At this very moment, I have two choices in front of me. The first one is to focus and do my chapter five outline so I can ace the test tomorrow, or two, I can go back to sleep and make an effort to wake up later on in the night to do the outline. The obvious choice is to do what's right now, but I'm going to pick the second one even though I know better.
On the brightside though, it's not that deep-seeded never ending sadness kind of feeling. This feels almost like normal.
------------------------------------
edit 10:22 pm
I take it back. In less than half an hour, I was able to sit and stare at the screen and somehow make myelf feel worse. My patience in myself is waning. My patience in other people is already gone. People disappoint me and let me down. No one ever remembers anything that I say I have to do or will do. It's those small ass details in life that make life as whole, so if those small things suck, then life would too. I need someone attentive in my life. I don't like feeling like I constantly put more effort into everything and never get the same in return. It's actually really selfish to feel that way and I can't tell if my feelings are justified.
I guess if you think you're being selfish, the chances are, you are. Lets just try to keep that in mind.
Oh how I miss waking up next to him and just feeling his warm presense.
2 Comments:
We're getting old. And who the freak is happy to go to school? Only at Lowell would you find people that enjoy going to school. I'm bored.
Oh how I miss waking up next to him and just feeling his warm presense.
that is probably the single most weirdest lines ever written in your blog.
Your blogs have been more meaty lately. Stick it out. Only 8 more months.
Post a Comment
<< Home