I remember telling my mom that it's been a long time since I've been happy. Now that's just not true, but it sounded like a good thing to say during a time when I felt utterly hopeless and worthless. But thinking retrospectively, life has has remained as relatively undesirable and mundane as it was last Friday. So I wonder why, during my "darkest hours," (in lonely hours. my tears devor youuuuuuuu. i want to stand with you on a mountain...) I always exaggerate the truth. What is it with human nature wanting to worsen their actual experience? My guess is to get more sympathy from yourself and from others.
Don't misunderstand me though. This week sucks.. a lot of butt. I have a lot of shit left to do, but I'm having trouble staying focused. That's the fucking story of my life isn't it? "I have a lot of work, but I can't seem to focus." I think I repeat some variation of that sentence every single week. It'll be annoying for me to read when I look through my old entries a year from now.
In Psych, we're learning about Biological Cycles. I think we'll have a few days to focus on sleep cycles and dreaming. Maybe I'll learn things that will scare me into sleeping more. But there is one thing I already know, and it is that the less sleep you get, the lesser your memory is. That really explains why learning is so hard for me.
Damn that was really random.
Back to my main point though. I haven't even talked to Jon for over two weeks. o_O;; I also haven't hung out with my friends in a long time. But.. that's probably my fault. I'd choose sleep over hanging out any day.
I need to buy some new pens.
Don't misunderstand me though. This week sucks.. a lot of butt. I have a lot of shit left to do, but I'm having trouble staying focused. That's the fucking story of my life isn't it? "I have a lot of work, but I can't seem to focus." I think I repeat some variation of that sentence every single week. It'll be annoying for me to read when I look through my old entries a year from now.
In Psych, we're learning about Biological Cycles. I think we'll have a few days to focus on sleep cycles and dreaming. Maybe I'll learn things that will scare me into sleeping more. But there is one thing I already know, and it is that the less sleep you get, the lesser your memory is. That really explains why learning is so hard for me.
Damn that was really random.
Back to my main point though. I haven't even talked to Jon for over two weeks. o_O;; I also haven't hung out with my friends in a long time. But.. that's probably my fault. I'd choose sleep over hanging out any day.
I need to buy some new pens.
3 Comments:
i like your comment thing because i can still see your post. john should have his like this. "has has remained" "devor youuuuuuuu" you haven't talked to me for longer than you haven't talked to john. anyway keep your chin up. i comment on almost all your posts. that would make any girls happy. i'll try to come see you during my break.
the way you put those messages at the end of your entry, like 'i need to buy some new pens',is just about all i read in your blog :p. lets go to china and gets some.
i think that sometimes we exaggerate so that people will see what we feel, because chances are we are afraid to be told that what we feel is no big deal and that we should just get over it.
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