Change is quick

So I guess it's a little late to reflect on 2009, but I'm going to do it anyway because I am an insomniac an I need to do something besides facebook stalk.

This year I:

1. Fell in love with Gordon Wong.

2. Lost my grandma and experienced true sadness, RIP, May 14, 2009.

3. Got my heart broken for the first time (G and I broke up), October 18, 2009.

4. Pulled more all nighters in a single week than I did all throughout my academic career.

5. Met someone that changed my perspective on relationships (LS Chen)

6. Failed two midterms (55% and 58% in Finance and Accounting, respectively)

7. Realized that Haas is not what I thought it would be.

8. Cried more than I ever thought possible.

9. Was reminded that friends are the most important part of my college experience, and should come before relationships.

10. Spent a lot of money on clothes (SFAM jeans, Evisus, $300 shopping sprees every time G and I had problems)

11. Decided that I need to work harder to achieve balance in my life.

12. Was told several times that I am spoiled and that I'm a princess (all by different people)

This was the worse year of my life, but also the best in the sense that I've grown so much as a person. It's rather unfortunate to realize that it takes so much bullshit in my life for me to mature and gain wisdom.

Some things that are on my mind:

I'm surprised at myself honestly that I got to the point where I actually had feelings for another person after G and I broke up for only two months. It snuck up on me, but I can't deny how wonderful it was to meet someone new who just... kind of understood me. I shared so much with him in the span of two months, and now it has just ended. He needs distance because I told him G and I got back together.

It took this threat for G to realize and reach the conclusion that he wanted to be with me. This couldn't have happened two months ago? It would have saved both of us a lot of tears and none of these lingering thoughts and feelings would be keeping me up typing a blog post out of guilt.

I have a boyfriend and I love him. But we broke up for a bit, and I met someone wonderful who I still think about from time to time. Am I a terrible person? I think I am. But I have resolved to stop being the epitome of the kind of girl I hate. I want to fall back in love with G and not even think about another boy. I want him to be enough for me.

My only new years resolution is to be happy this year. (4.0 is not a resolution because it's a goal) Happiness is arguably the most coveted "thing" in the entire world. Why would it come easy? That's why I know I need to work for it. And I am on my way to a great year.