I am so tired of being sad and pathetic. But the fact of the matter is, you mattered so much to me. Looking back on old pictures of you just in my room with MoMo just makes me sob uncontrollably. That's what was great about our relationship: the simplicity of it all. You looked so happy just sitting there with a stuffed animal on your lap. A stuffed animal that came to embody all the happiness and purity of our relationship.

You asked me to hang on to her and you know that hanging on represents for the both of us that we will one day be together again. You asked me to do all of this, but I don't think I can. I can't sit back and be pathetic, while you go mess around with other people. I can't hold on to the symbol of our love, keeping it secure, while you go around doing whatever you want and hurting me each step of the way.

I look at these pictures and there's a part of me that still truly believes we can heal all wounds and be just as happy, if not happier than those pictures reveal.

I don't want to be weak anymore. I don't want to care. I want to erase it all. I don't want to cry. I don't want to feel pain. I don't want to try so hard to escape this. Someone please fix it for me. Please.