The day consisted of:

Summer School.
Downtown to meet up Sam.
Cheesecake factory.
Insane stomach induced by hunger & cream cheese.
Constant bitching to Sam while sitting on Macy's top floor furniture section.
Ordering expensive Thai Chicken Pasta and nasty iced tea that costed $3.
Attempting to throw up and poo at Cheesecake factory 3 times. Failed.
Bitching so much Sam got a stomach ache.
Packing up our food after eating less than four bites each.
Sam paying. YESSSS! :)
Force Sam to go to ATM to get money to donate to AIDS walk. $25 YEAH!
Meet up with my cousins.
Go get Jamba.
Go back and chill with cousins.
Roamed a little & then went home.
Food at Ninh's place.
HK dessert at My Favorite Cafe.
Saw & played with Rania (Linda's kid)
Go back to Ninh's place.
Iris leaves me there.
Waiting outside like wtf?
Emotional.
Got picked up.
Emotional.
Tried on funeral clothes.
I look presentable.
I feel like shit.
Crying is a sign of weakness.
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Chinese school tomorrow. Will have to bus home. So much to do this weekend. 5 page paper and presentation for Health on Monday. Yay.

Nsync is my current source of happiness.

When I was in middle school, my friends and I imitated Nsync dances for fun as well as for a school gym project. It was really fun but I'm thinking about the past in a way almost like yearning for something that you cannot physically have ever again. It's always in retrospect... always. So anyway.. In retrospect, my life was great back then. I remember a few breakdowns, but most all my problems were about stupid friend drama that usually involved a boy. Arguments were much simpler then; if someone hits on your boyfriend, you call them out on it and thus drama ensues. These days, I feel as though problems aren't willingly exposed, and that everything everyone goes through is bottled up until something triggers a reason to express everything that's inside.

Everyone needs a good cry every now and again, but I hate it so much. Crying must be the most vulnerable state to be in because your vision is blurred with tears, your breathing is irregular, your body trembles, and you constantly need to wipe your face. But most of all, crying has always been a sign of weakness to me. Growing up in a Chinese family hardly ever seeing my dad cry has caused me to feel ashamed of crying. I'm trying to figure out if I'll be one of those parents that get angry at their child for crying.

Summer isn't supposed to be stressful, but somehow it has been for the past couple of weeks. It's just not supposed to be this way. I waited all year for summer to come and I feel pretty useless and shitty most of the time.

I want my glasses fixed.