Honestly, I've been sitting here for the past two hours wondering why everyone else is having a jolly good time and I'm sitting here feeling like crap. I can't get myself out of this slump right now and even if I could, I would feel guilty for not feeling sad. I can never please myself because I constantly contradict what I say I want with my actions.

I watched The Last Samurai today and I loved it. I don't know how to describe why I like it, but I thought it was cool how there was nothing blatantly sexual in the movie. I loved the subtle attraction between Tom Cruise and that chick though.

On a more unpleasant note, my glasses are broken so I have to wear my contacts. I blink awkwardly and look at people funny because my eyes constantly feel irritated. I wish I had better contacts.

I haven't felt the theraputic effects of blogging in a while, so I hope this sort of helps. But then again how can it if I'd rather not publically speak about what's on my mind? Again, there's the contradiction.

So far this summer, the best thing I've done is join the LYRIC AIDS Walk team. Volunteering at AIDS Walk headquarters is fun as hell. But asking people for money is really hard. My discovery is that it's easier to ask and get money from people you kind of know.. like classmates that you don't speak to outside of school. It's impossible to ask your close friends for money because they're probably always broke anyway. Sucks.

Summer is going downhill really fast.

I'm doing everything I possibly can to NOT think about it. My tactic is to avoid thinking period. It's sort of working so far.

eeeeeeeeeeeh. I feel crappy.