The two D's: Disappointment & Death
Two things that school doesn't teach you:
1. Prepare for disappointment.
2. Prepare yourself to cope with death.
Everyone always says that the crap you learn in school doesn't help you live in the real world. I've always been one to vehemently disagree, but I see a grain of truth in it more and more these days. Rather than suggest that school requirements be scrapped entirely, I think we first and foremost need classes about life situations.
This year, I think I learned to deal with disappointment within myself. Setting high standards doesn't mean that you won't feel as bad when you fail just because you didn't "really do that bad," but the reality of it is that you just feel that much more foolish for believing that you, pathetic you, was actually capable of something. Well that's just how I feel about it at the end of the day.
The worse part of it is that achieving your goal doesn't even feel great in the end. After pushing away all your friends and family in attempts to reach your goal, you have no one to share the glory with. It leaves you without a purpose for the most part until you final another absurd goal to kill yourself over.
So I spoke of two types of disappointment there: disappointment after failure and disappointment upon reaching a goal that you thought you wanted to reach in the first place. Life is cruel that way. No matter what, you end up disappointed.
That was the pessimstic point of view, but it's not that easy to be optimistic sometimes.
As for coping with death... I don't even know what to say about it. I've tried mentally preparing myself, but it's not feasible to do so. My mom told me that by this time next year, more than a handful of her friends will be dead. That wasn't comforting, but it's true. By the end of this year, I will have attended two more funerals at the very least. I'm trying. I'm really trying to prepare myself in advance.. I really am. It's not working. It's not working.
The truth is, I'm worried about death for selfish reasons. I'm afraid that I won't deal with death very well which will ruin my concentration in school. That's how terrible I am. I can't tell if I'm really worried about the death itself or the fact that I'm screwed in school. What is with the emphasis on school? Why?
When life seems tough, that should be all the more reason to stick it out and plow through though. That's what I'll try to think.
1. Prepare for disappointment.
2. Prepare yourself to cope with death.
Everyone always says that the crap you learn in school doesn't help you live in the real world. I've always been one to vehemently disagree, but I see a grain of truth in it more and more these days. Rather than suggest that school requirements be scrapped entirely, I think we first and foremost need classes about life situations.
This year, I think I learned to deal with disappointment within myself. Setting high standards doesn't mean that you won't feel as bad when you fail just because you didn't "really do that bad," but the reality of it is that you just feel that much more foolish for believing that you, pathetic you, was actually capable of something. Well that's just how I feel about it at the end of the day.
The worse part of it is that achieving your goal doesn't even feel great in the end. After pushing away all your friends and family in attempts to reach your goal, you have no one to share the glory with. It leaves you without a purpose for the most part until you final another absurd goal to kill yourself over.
So I spoke of two types of disappointment there: disappointment after failure and disappointment upon reaching a goal that you thought you wanted to reach in the first place. Life is cruel that way. No matter what, you end up disappointed.
That was the pessimstic point of view, but it's not that easy to be optimistic sometimes.
As for coping with death... I don't even know what to say about it. I've tried mentally preparing myself, but it's not feasible to do so. My mom told me that by this time next year, more than a handful of her friends will be dead. That wasn't comforting, but it's true. By the end of this year, I will have attended two more funerals at the very least. I'm trying. I'm really trying to prepare myself in advance.. I really am. It's not working. It's not working.
The truth is, I'm worried about death for selfish reasons. I'm afraid that I won't deal with death very well which will ruin my concentration in school. That's how terrible I am. I can't tell if I'm really worried about the death itself or the fact that I'm screwed in school. What is with the emphasis on school? Why?
When life seems tough, that should be all the more reason to stick it out and plow through though. That's what I'll try to think.
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