Not THAT pessimistic... right?!
Am I really that pessimistic? I always thought I was more realistic than anything, but perhaps that which I considered to be realism somehow morphed into pessimism during the course of the past few years.
Is it possible to be idealistic yet pessimistic at the same time? When it comes to society as a whole, I'm pretty idealistic. Will we make huge strides towards stopping the spread of AIDS this year? Yeah, I really think we will. I have faith in that. Will I still be friends with my friends now in two years? No, I don't think so. I'm not so much doubting my perspectives, but more like wondering why I have more faith in mankind than in individual people. I guess it's because there are billions of people in the world, so one failure will merely have a miniscule effect on life progess as a whole whereas the decisions and actions of one person I'm associated with can entirely change the course of my own life.
My fear of the future is increasing EVERY SINGLE DAY. Some days are scarier than others, but right at this moment I just have this terrible feeling eating away at what can only be my gut instincts. Or, it could be the fact that I ate raw fish and drank a tapioca for dinner. o_O I'm betting it's really actually the latter, but my mind can't help but believe that the former has a little to do with my nausea.
Random tangent, but I talk like a white family on those old TV sitcoms. It's so awkward to use so many American idioms that most of my asian friends don't use on a regular basis. Sometimes it feels so forced, but honestly, because of all the TV I watch, those idioms are the only words I can come up with off the top of my mind. I'm kind of weird like that. I watch reruns so much that I eventually try to adapt the voice of various characters on tv.
blah. I feel sick.
Is it possible to be idealistic yet pessimistic at the same time? When it comes to society as a whole, I'm pretty idealistic. Will we make huge strides towards stopping the spread of AIDS this year? Yeah, I really think we will. I have faith in that. Will I still be friends with my friends now in two years? No, I don't think so. I'm not so much doubting my perspectives, but more like wondering why I have more faith in mankind than in individual people. I guess it's because there are billions of people in the world, so one failure will merely have a miniscule effect on life progess as a whole whereas the decisions and actions of one person I'm associated with can entirely change the course of my own life.
My fear of the future is increasing EVERY SINGLE DAY. Some days are scarier than others, but right at this moment I just have this terrible feeling eating away at what can only be my gut instincts. Or, it could be the fact that I ate raw fish and drank a tapioca for dinner. o_O I'm betting it's really actually the latter, but my mind can't help but believe that the former has a little to do with my nausea.
Random tangent, but I talk like a white family on those old TV sitcoms. It's so awkward to use so many American idioms that most of my asian friends don't use on a regular basis. Sometimes it feels so forced, but honestly, because of all the TV I watch, those idioms are the only words I can come up with off the top of my mind. I'm kind of weird like that. I watch reruns so much that I eventually try to adapt the voice of various characters on tv.
blah. I feel sick.
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